Lessons that Last

by Mary Beth Bishop

One way to celebrate a great mom is to pass on her unique brand of wisdom to the next generation. Once they become mothers themselves, women often look back to their own childhoods and the things their mothers said or did that impacted them the most.

Friends on the Page

Popular author Joshilyn Jackson moved often as a child and says her mother knew where the library was before she found the grocery store.
With Jackson’s classmates left behind, her mother “was able to take me right to Nancy Drew” and other such friends she loved. Now Jackson is a best-selling author with two bookworms of her own. Her children love to read so much, in fact, that Jackson has a household rule: books must be closed at the top of the stairs lest readers tumble down the steps.
The author of Gods in Alabama, A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty and other works of fiction isn’t the only writer in the family’s Decatur home. Maisy Jane, age 10 , uses the “Crayola and stapler method” to come up with books of her own, says Jackson, who is also mother to 15-year-old Sam. She still enjoys discussing books with her own mom Betty Jackson.
Her children got an early education in the classics when Jackson soothed her fussy newborns with the help of literary heavyweights such as Charles Dickens and Jane Austen. The author, who used to love to hear her own mother read aloud, wanted to choose something she herself would enjoy during late nights up with babies.

A Chance for More

Fox 5 News anchor and reporter Deidra Dukes was a student body president at her junior high school when the leadership group had the chance to travel to Japan. When there weren’t enough funds in the family budget for Dukes to make the trip, her mother taught her a new way to look at things she couldn’t have.
“She told me she was giving me opportunities in life to get those kinds of things for myself later,” says Dukes, adding that her mother instilled in her a strong faith and made sure she got a good education.
Her mother is shy, the anchor says. So Marion Dukes made an extra effort to see that her daughter wasn’t afraid to go after the things she wanted. Now the Fox anchor, who lives in South Fulton, works to make sure her 8-year-old son Michael has that same drive and solid foundation.
She wants him to know that it’s OK “if he doesn’t ace a test or if he strikes out. My mother taught me to celebrate success and learn from mistakes,” says Dukes. “She said the only way to reach your true potential is to fall down and dust yourself off.”

Cheering Them On

Kim Hudson remembers the “really good, secure feeling” of knowing her mother Debbie Bruner would always be there at school parties and other events. “I never wondered if she’d show up,” says Hudson, who wants her own children to experience that strong sense of support. 
“I wish I could be at every single thing,” says the part-time lawyer, who is married to Atlanta Braves pitcher Tim Hudson. “But there’s one of me and three of them.” The Hudson kids – Kennedie, 10; Tess, 8; and Kade, 7 – all play on different sports teams with different practice schedules. Theirs is a busy, sports-loving family with baseball, softball and basketball all in the mix.
Tricky logistics aside, Hudson makes it a point to always have a supporter in the stands for each of her young players. She might enlist a friend if she or her husband can’t be there. “There’s never a time,” she says  “that somebody’s not there watching.”
The Hudsons lives in Auburn, Ala., and Kim and Tim also run the Hudson Family Foundation, which provides supports to children in need. hudsonfamilyfoundation.com.

Born to Serve

A job should be more about giving than about making money. That’s one lesson Kimberly M. Esmond Adams says her own mother taught her children.
“She taught us to choose a profession based on what God put you on earth to do,” says Adams, a judge in Fulton County Superior Court. “She said you were not born for yourself. You were born to serve.”
Adams has passed on her mother’s spirit of generosity to her stepson Michael, 20, who has taken part in mission trips and service projects. “That’s part of who he is,” says the judge.
Her own mom, Janice Stallworth, made it clear “that life should not be guided by money and things.” Adams grew up in a happy, active family where money was sometimes tight. But “you couldn’t tell us,” she says, “that we didn’t have as much as the other children.”
Some of her memories are funny. As Adams got older, her name for her mother “went from Mommy to Mama to Ma. She hated that,” the judge recalls. “She’d say this wasn’t Little House on the Prairie.”
Her mother passed away before she could see her daughter get married or be sworn in as a judge. “But she deposited so much in us,” says Adams, who is thankful for lessons that last.

Mom to Many

When it got chilly at ball games or practices, Mary Emily O’Bradovich remembers that her mom would be on the case, bundling up not just her daughter, but any of her teammates who were caught without a coat.
“She always filled the back of her car with coats and hats,” says O’Bradovich, whose mother is Georgia First Lady Sandra Deal. If it takes a village to raise a child, “she was the high priestess. She took everyone under her wing.”
O’Bradovich remembers that lots of her friends put their trust in her mom. Now she hopes she herself can be there for her daughters’ friends, should they need some extra support. O’Bradovich is mother to Rosemily, 9, and 6-year-old Cordelia.
She’s also struck by the respect her mother has always shown toward everyone she meets. With that in mind, O’Bradovich chose a school and address where diversity could be a part of her girls’ lives. Her mom “didn’t judge people by social status or skin color” and that made an impression that O’Bradovich only fully realized when she had children of her own.
“My mother taught me to accept all people and exclude no one,” she says, “and that’s what I teach mine.”

Taking the Time

Painful memories as well as good ones can shape the choices a mother makes.
Jewel Lucien said she sometimes longed for something as simple as having a parent who was present more often at meals. When she became stepmother to Elijah, who turned 14 this month, she was mindful of how it felt not to get the adult attention she sometimes needed as a child. “I realized that there’s more to parenting than setting rules,” the Lilburn actress says. “It’s important to make time.”
Lucien was a child of divorce and as an actress she recently sang about the subject from a parent’s point of view in Motherhood the Musical, which recently closed at 14th Street Playhouse. One of the show’s more poignant moments comes when Lucien’s character sings about sending her children off with their dad “Every Other Weekend.”
The actress says she’s made it a point to have her stepson understand  “how important he is in our lives.” When he was younger, he would often choose to accompany her to rehearsals instead of staying home with a sitter. Soon, he was correcting her lines when she practiced at home. He grew to love show tunes and costumes and still enjoys being a part of school plays, taking his stepmother’s profession to heart.

Empathy and Kindness

In smalltown Alabama, where people loved to talk, Robin Gibbs’ mother told her to choose kindness over gossip. “She said you never know what the other person’s life might really be like,” Gibbs recalls. 
“Hogwash” was what Karen Elizabeth Collins thought of the old saying that words don’t hurt as much as sticks and stones. “She would really use the word hogwash,” Gibbs says.
Now a mother of two, Gibbs is featured on the reality series Say Yes to Dress: Atlanta in her role as bridal manager at Bridals by Lori.
Keeping in mind her mother’s compassion, “I have really instilled empathy into the hearts of my boys,” says the Marietta mom of Christian, 12, and Dylan, 10.
The two boys, it seemed, were somewhat of a surprise. “I am very much all about tradition and couldn’t wait to teach my daughter the same polite manners and Southern traditions passed down from generations. So can you imagine how stumped I was when I ended up with only boys? This is when Mama reminded me that God knows what he is doing and nothing is ever by chance.”
Gibbs said her mother made her feel loved, even when the talk had to turn to disappointing behavior. “She was and still is my No. 1 fan. One of the best things a mama can do for their child,” she says, “is to always root for him or her.” She always, she says, wants her kids “to know that I believe in them.”